Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Busy Bee

I had no intentions of being a once-a-week blogger. When the BFF and I started this blog, I thought I'd be a daily blogger, or at least once every two days. But it turns out I'm really busy. And finding time (after sitting on a computer at work all day) to post is harder than I thought. I'm going to work on it though. I'll work on making life a bit more interesting too.

The weekend was fun. 

We went to Maine again, and spent a windy weekend with our favorite Vermonters and their little one. It was chilly, but at least it wasn't rainy!

We spent a lot of time outside (as much as we could stand, although Saturday was much sunnier than Sunday), and had some great seafood.

We also stopped by our new house. It's a work in progress, and hopefully it won't be too small once it's all done. I'm really excited to get into a bigger place though ;)

Even though the weekend was fun...

Last week, I had a good, hard slap in the face. When I went to the gym, I decided to get on the scale. I've been uber slack about going to WW, so I figured I'd see where I stood. WELL. Let me tell you. I stood a few more pounds up than I'd like to be. Ouch.

Let me back track, when I posted about needing motivation to keep working hard back in July, people said some really nice things to me that should have helped. I should have taken their words to heart, and gotten back on track. But, I didn't. I continued to slack in my food and exercise, and now it's caught up to me. I knew it was bound to happen, but I wanted to believe I was just taking time to "maintain." My clothes never stopped fitting, and I didn't really notice it, but I was most definitely gaining.

As depressing as this is to me, I know it's not the end of the world. It's a few pounds in the grand scheme of a lot of pounds. It's a little detour on a long trip. I don't like it, but I can deal with it.

So how am I going to deal with it? Well, first I cried about it, naturally. Then I decided to go back to the source of my success:

It was a little brutal to walk in and see my summer faults on the scale and printed in my book, but it's a step in the right direction. It's where I know I need to go to be successful. This week back has been far from perfect, but hopefully the few more steps in the right direction will help me to work it all out.

Work is busy, in a really great way, but it's HARD to balance the rest of my life. With longer hours of work and shorter hours of day light, I'm going to have to push a lot more than I ever have before. Here's to hoping *this time* is the last time I start again.

EDIT: I thought a lot about this post last night, and there are a couple things I wanted to touch on. First, I want to explain that it's not the number on the scale that matters. It's that the number is a reflection of how I feel. I do not have the strength, happiness, or confidence that I have had before, and will have when I'm making the right choices and losing. And second, there is no shame in starting a million and one times. And if I find myself in a place that I have to start over, even just to kick a few pounds I gained in the summer, it's perfectly fine. It's doing something about it that matters. And I hope that I always have the courage and determination to better myself, as many times as it takes.

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